For those of you who’ve been following along, you may have noticed a small but important detail about this blog: despite all the talking, flirting, and steadily rising sexual tension, we’ve somehow managed to explore the “lifestyle” without much actual physical touching or sexual activities, at least with other couples. Think of it as a very extended warm-up. A time where Elise and I have been learning, feeling, and making sure our hearts and minds are just as ready as our libidos.

That shifted a bit this past weekend. While what happened may barely register for readers who’ve been doing this for years, or who dive in headfirst without overthinking everything, for Elise and me, it marked a genuinely exciting and meaningful turning point in our personal journey.

And honestly, it feels worth celebrating. Not because anything really wild or headline-worthy happened, but because of how right it felt… and how much fun we all had. 

Here’s the funny part: Elise and I already had an entire blog post written. A very sexy one. It’s currently sitting in the drafts folder, patiently waiting for one of us to hit “publish.” But something about it just didn’t sit right, so we sat on the post.

After the kid went to bed and a few drinks were poured—isn’t that sometimes the best time for honest conversations? We started talking about the blog itself and what it means to us. More specifically, we talked about what we don’t want it to become, and how we were worried that the post we had written might be drifting a little too close to that line.

We want this blog to be a place where we process our thoughts and feelings, share our experiences, and hopefully entertain along the way. What we don’t want is a rush to post every blue, sexy detail the moment something happens. This isn’t going to turn into a kiss-and-tell blog.

That just wouldn’t be fair to the other couple or couples 🙂 involved. They didn’t agree to be written about, even anonymously. Yes, we’ll always talk about what happened in a general sense and, more importantly, how we felt about it. But personal details won’t be included unless we’ve explicitly gotten permission. And if that ever happens, we’ll say so. The last thing we want is for anyone to feel like they’re being used for content.

Life happens, and sometimes we write about it. But we’re not going to do things for the blog. Sure, we’ll write down hopes, curiosities, maybe even a shared bucket list. That’s fun. That’s intentional. What it’s not is us saying, “Let’s do this tonight so we have something spicy to post tomorrow.” Hard pass.

If that was our approach, this blog would be way more scandalous—and probably a lot more popular. But it also wouldn’t be us. We’re processing our own mental hangups the best way we know how, and pushing ourselves just for content would probably just give us both an ulcer.

Even telling people that we have a blog can feel nerve-wracking. The last thing we need is some reputation of, “Oh… those two. They’re going to tell the world about us.” Will we tell everyone we meet? Definitely not. Not everyone needs to know. Will we tell couples we grow close to, either in real life or online? Yes, we should. There’s just a delicate line about when that conversation happens.

Will we fuck this up and break our own rules at some point? Oh, absolutely. You can probably bet your sweet, beautiful ass on that. That’s just life. But will we ever be malicious or intentionally hurtful in our writing? I sincerely doubt it. That’s just not who we are. I’d much rather have you, the reader, laughing at something awkward, clumsy, or very us that we did or said.

So… now that all of that is out of the way… what the hell happened that deserved its own blog post?

Honestly, with a little time and distance, it doesn’t carry the same weight it did when it was originally written. Clothes were lost. There was a lot of kissing, and there was a whole lot of fun and laughing from start to finish. As I touched upon earlier, what mattered most was that it felt right in the moment, and it continued to feel right once Elise and I checked in with each other afterward.

I keep finding myself wondering how things might have unfolded if it had all happened several months earlier. I don’t think it would’ve gone the same way. I wasn’t ready then. I’m still learning—about myself, about what this all means to me, and about skills I didn’t even realize I needed.

Learning doesn’t really stop. Readiness comes in stages for us, at least. Sometimes the only way you know you were ready is realizing it afterward. And sometimes, learning new things with the right people, at the right time, can be kind of incredible.

At its heart, this blog is simply a place to listen, to ourselves, to each other, and to what feels true in the moment. We’re not racing toward anything or pursuing outcomes. We’re learning, adjusting, and discovering who we are as we go. And for now, that feels like exactly enough.