Another year is almost over and what have I done?

Actually… We have done a decent amount this year, my online reader friends, especially for  dual-working parents with busy lives and endless commitments. Elise and I have somehow managed to carve out time to spend a another wonderful naked week at Desire Riviera Maya, go out on a few bar crawls, attend a meet & greet, go to a few house parties, take part in two overnight hotel takeovers and also sneak in some fun dates with others and just ourselves.

Those are mainly the places and events though. More importantly, we have met so many new and wonderful people this past year and also strengthened both in-person and online friendships. I will be honest and say that we’ve let some connections slide too. Hey, we’re human and there are only so many hours in each day.

We have so many stories that we could write about, but living them has taken priority over sitting down and hashing them out. I’m not a quitter and I still love this blog, so don’t fear, it’s very much still alive. We’ll be typing out more of our stories and posting them here. Writing down my thoughts is very cathartic,  and I actually learn things about myself along the way. Whoa. Self improvement at my age? Crazy, I know.

It also brings a smile to my face knowing that maybe there is one person who is nodding along and finding comfort in realizing that they’re not alone in some thoughts and feelings. Laughing with us, or even at us, through the highs and lows of our journey is perfectly okay too.

So what’s on my mind today?

Good question me. Thanks, I know it is. (Snarf!)

This past weekend was one of the two hotel takeovers, and we had a total blast. Thanks to a snowstorm, we arrived much later than expected. I won’t go into the full details about the event in this post, but I do want to talk about something that I struggle with.

I guess for the lack of better terminology, I deal with FOMO. I love meeting new people and talking to them. Sometimes to the point where I get pretty invested in the conversation. Occasionally I can talk so much that I end up blocking myself from potential invites. I also love dancing with Elise, and this takeover had an incredible dance floor and a killer vibe. My version of FOMO appears when I get so involved in the scene that everything grabs my attention. The music, the sexy outfits, the sexy people, watching the interactions unfold between other couples. The sheer spectacle of it all makes me want to stay put and absorb everything in.

And if we get drawn into a group conversation? Omg, I’m hooked. Next thing I know, it’s super late, people are headed back to their room with another couple or two and I’m standing there with Elise wondering where the time went.

This time, something was different, at least for me. I’m usually the brake or the one who is wanting to stay put. But another couple asked if we wanted to go back to their room and I didn’t hesitate at all. It was a solid yes. No stammering. No red-alert alarm going off in my head. No mental list of all the negative reasons on why we shouldn’t. Just, “Yes, that sounds great!”

Quick backstory: before the question came up, the four of us toured the playroom, which was just absolutely packed. There was a circle of spectators, four people deep around all the playbeds. It was… a lot. Even for me, and that’s saying something since I do enjoy a good crowd.

So yes, we went back to their room and talked. Truly talked. We got to know each other better. We’re all on the same side of the record in believing that a connection matters beyond, “Ummm, you’re hot and my pants feel all tight when I look at you.” You’re probably rolling your eyes at the screen right now, thinking, “That’s it? You talked? Didn’t you just say you cock-block yourself by talking too bloody much?”

Well…. This was different.

It wasn’t just surface-level conversations. There wasn’t any talk about jobs, kids, or weather updates. Nothing dull and routine. We learned about each other through questions pulled from a deck of cards, the Game of Lifestyle: Icebreaker edition. (Sorry fellow WGT fans, I left my WGT deck of cards back in our room.)

We learned a lot about the other couple and all the answers were all turn-ons and green flags. I may not have learned anything new from Elise from her answers, but it is always a big turn-on hearing her openly share what she wants and desires with others. I, on other hand, probably had some of the more underwhelming questions that may have highlighted our limited experience playing with others in the lifestyle or even our lack of previous romantic partners.

I also hope that they saw something in me beyond being entertaining or providing laughs. It’s easy for me to come up with a joke, but sometimes humor can act like a firewall keeping people an arms length away.

I know that, for some people in the lifestyle consider being new or having a low partner count can be seen as a red flag. We didn’t get the impression from them, quite the opposite really. Elise and I have been together since high school and monogamous 99.9% of the time on top of that. Hopefully we conveyed to them that we are not trying to fix anything, save a broken marriage or trying to fill a missing hole, (ha, no pun intended, actually… Lol) . We are on this journey for new, mutual, fun-filled, sexy experiences. To meet new people, laugh, play and to cheer Elise on when I see her totally crushing on someone. To create new wonderful memories that we can smile about when we are even older.

So after spending the evening with this couple in their room talking and laughing, do I feel like I missed out on anything at the takeover?

At this moment, nope. I am quite happy with how things unfolded.

That said,… I won’t lie, I would have loved if we were all piled on the same couch together. Omg, everyone looked so fucking hot. Elise… chef’s kiss. She wore a royal blue corset top and garter belt combo with matching stockings from Honey Birdette. The other wife looked damn fire too and she had a similar outfit on, plus these wrist cuffs with clasps on them. Pure deliciousness And her husband? He was rocking a chest harness and real leather pants. Total win.

I was wearing my first ever kilt and this corset top that may or may not have been bothering me while sitting down. Why didn’t I just take it off? Hindsight is 20/20 and my in the moment reaction in the LS is… very delayed.

Though Elise did mention that she wishes that we went back to a room we visited during the hotel room crawl. In this room is where I received a nice introductory flogging from a wonderful female Dom. Elise really wants to see me get stripped, tied up and pushed to my limits… Maybe even broken.

I’m on board for that. Just not this time.

For a long time, I’ve worried that moving slower at our own pace or wanting a connection first, meant we were somehow doing this wrong or others would be put off by it. That our pace, our history, or our numbers put us behind everyone else in the room. But when we were in their room, laughing and talking instead of rushing toward some sort of imaginary checklist, something clicked. This is who we are. And this feels right for us.

I didn’t leave that night feeling like I missed out on something. I left feeling connected. Still wanting more, sure, but not feeling like I let myself down. It was really late. Maybe 3:30 a.m. And the house lights came up, and instead of regret, there was calm. Elise and I even held hands while we waited for our Uber to drive us all the way back to our hotel, which was… across the street maybe a quarter-mile away. (Hey, it was snowing and freezing out!) For someone who carries a little FOMO and a few more emotions on his sleeve, that feels like real progress.

There’s no prize for finishing first in this journey. I guess it’s really about the experiences you have, the people you share them with, and the memories you get to keep long after the music fades.