Elise and I woke up earlier than expected, but it was totally worth it. The weather was absolutely perfect. The sun was shining, the air was already warm, a few lazy clouds drifted by, and a soft breeze kept everything feeling calm and peaceful. It was our last full day at the resort, and we had plans to savor every last moment.

First up: coffee, obviously. Breakfast was the usual, so I’ll spare the details. The real win? We actually remembered to apply sunscreen before even leaving the room. Small victories matter, especially when you’re heading out into the Mexican sun and FOMO was kicking in.

We set off on a beach walk toward Puerto Morelos, a town better known for its snorkeling and SCUBA diving thanks to the coral reef just offshore, than for its beaches. As we strolled along the shore, we weaved around seaweed piles and stepped over ropes securing a few colorful dive boats moored nearby. Easy to trip on if you weren’t paying attention.

Into the Waves and Out of Our Heads

Surprisingly, the farther we went, the cleaner the shoreline became. The gentle U-shape of the beach gradually shifted into a more convex, n-shaped curve. Maybe that’s why the seaweed started to disappear, or maybe it was just low tide. Either way, it made for a gorgeous stretch of beach. Farther from the water, the sand was still blanketed with dried vegetation, so it was best to stick close to the edge. The water, thankfully, was pretty clear and irresistible, so we waded in, dunked ourselves a few times, and let the waves cool us off as the heat started to build.

We didn’t quite make it into the actual town again, but the change of scenery was refreshing. The people-watching alone made the walk worthwhile, plus it gave us a chance to add to our selfie pic collection. Mixed in between the sleepy waterfront resorts and hotels were a few abandoned and weathered buildings that looked like they had been empty for at least a few years. The beach itself was mostly deserted on that quiet Thursday morning except for a few vendors who offered to sell us a relaxing beachside massage. We graciously declined and kept walking hand-in-hand. Elise was still processing everything from the day before, and the quiet stretch of beach gave her space to decompress and recharge.

Eventually we made it back to the resort pool and the social energy picked up again compared to the previous day. If there’s ever been a reason to join a resort chat group before your trip, this was it. Our pre-trip conversations on Telegram had paid off since our little poolside crew had grown to include Tanya and Greg, Tina and Chris, and a few others, along with Steve and Fran. As the “new couple,” we were still getting friendly waves and excited greetings, and honestly? That felt pretty great considering how small, (but tight) our friend circle is back home.

Richard and Jane were also in the pool. We only exchanged a few words and smiles, but it was nice to be recognized. By late afternoon, Elise hit her social limit and retreated to our loungers to catch up with her book. I joined her briefly but I just could not get into mine. She encouraged me to go back and hang out with the group. “I’m fine,” she said. “And you’re only like 30 feet away.” So off I went, mostly to chat with the ladies (though a few guys were still around).

A Rumor, a Violation, and the Value of Trust

Tanya, Tina, and I were laughing when the vibe shifted. A friend of theirs came over and shared that a guy at the resort had been getting handsy with a few women. Meaning he was touching and kissing women without their consent. A huge violation, and grounds for being kicked out of the resort. One of the husbands had been rightfully pissed, but the situation de-escalated when the woman involved chose not to name names to avoid drama. (I have mixed feelings about that, but it was her call.) Thankfully, the guy’s own travel group had the decency to kick him out.

After their friend left, Tanya and Tina both looked at me and said something along the lines of how safe and respected they felt around me. That hit me in the best possible way. At that moment, I wondered if I had been just placed in the friend zone, but there are worse things. Being seen as someone that others felt comfortable to be around was not just a great compliment, but that kind of trust ended up mattering more than I thought it would in the moments that followed.

Even with Elise all the way across the pool, lounging under an umbrella with her book, we would still occasionally make eye contact, a little check-in to stay connected. At one point I noticed that she had gone from reading to dozing peacefully, but suddenly, poof, she was gone. Disappeared. I had a suspicion that she’d gone back to the room to call our daughter and sure enough, I found out later that I was right.

Of course, that’s when things started heating up.

Body Shots and Unexpected Boyfriend Status with a side of Chocolate

The Playmakers were running poolside games, but since the crowd was slow to join in, they turned up the heat, almost literally. They waded through the pool trying to stir up some up-close and personal, sexually charged excitement. One “game”? Body shots. A Playmaker poured liquor down a woman’s cleavage, and her husband had to dive in and drink it, licking up the rest. Can’t have alcohol tainting the pool water, right?

Tanya was picked by a Playmaker she seemed to know well. When he asked where her husband Greg was, she said he was napping back in their room. Without missing a beat and with a wicked smile the Playmaker asked, “So… where’s your boyfriend then?”

Tanya grinned and pointed right at me and said, “That’s my boyfriend.” 

I’d just returned from reapplying sunscreen, so I was caught totally off guard.

“Wait. What did I do? Ohhh… Are you sure?” I asked, half-laughing.

She smiled. “Yes. And thank you for asking. Now get over here.”

So, I did my first cleavage body shot ever. From another man’s wife. Another first.

But wait. It gets wilder.

A bottle of chocolate sauce suddenly appeared in the hands of one of the Playmakers. Originally, it was just going to be more sexy drizzling and licking… but Tina had other plans. She asked to borrow the bottle, grabbed my hand, pointed at a rigid foam yoga mat that was floating nearby, and said, “Hold this steady.” Naturally, I did what any man in my position would do, I held on like a loyal, slightly clueless pool boy.

Then she asked Tanya to join her on the float. Without hesitation, she poured chocolate sauce all over both of their bodies. Just like that they began “cleaning” each other up in the hottest way imaginable. OMG, it was so damn hot, with all the licking and moaning. 

It was a real life chocolate-covered girl-on-girl fantasy that was just only inches away from my face. I held the float steady like my life depended on it. There was no way I was letting that scene end early, not with the crowd that gathered to watch. I would never survive the backlash. 

Then, mid-lick-fest, I looked up, smiling like a total fool, and there she was. 

Elise.

Standing at the edge of the pool. 

Her face? A perfect blend of shock, curiosity, glee, and what the actual hell? She’d been gone for just over 30 minutes. Surprise?!

Richard flashed me a look that said it all: Dude… don’t even try to say you’re new to this. First a body shot, and now you’re ringside, personally assisting two women 69’ing each other in what could be a softcore porn film?

And before you say, “But Bruce, you weren’t technically involved in any of the sexy shenanigans, so was it really that wild?” Please let me remind you that this was our first trip to an adult, clothing-optional, lifestyle-friendly resort. Compared to the old hairy chest contests that we had witnessed on a few Carnival cruises, this was a whole new level of excitement.

The Hot Tub Migration, David Attenborough Vibes and Electric Chemistry

The intensity quickly simmered down and all the remaining chocolate that was missed by tongues were towelled off. I knew it was getting close to 4 p.m., because like something out of a bizarre nature documentary, we all migrated to the hot tub. 

I can imagine David Attenborough providing a voice over: 

“Here, on the sun-filled shores of Cancun, Mexico we observe a curious daily ritual. Each afternoon at exactly 4 p.m., without fail, a colorful mix of tan and pale flock of hedonistic creatures emerge from the waters of their large fun-filled main pool. Drawn by the heat, the bubbles, and the promise of heightened flirtation, they gather at the communal watering hole, known as, the hot tub. It is truly fascinating.” 

Tanya caught up with Greg in the hot tub and told him the “boyfriend” story. Thankfully, he thought it was hilarious.

Later, Elise and I were wading back from the hot tub bar when we started chatting with another group. One woman, Barbara, had amazing vibrant purple hair, was the same sweet lady who hugged me earlier in the week when she felt bad about leaving us alone at the pool.

Her husband? He was talking up his sports car. Elise initially thought he was full of it and just trying to impress, but as they talked, she found herself intrigued. He was a few years older, articulate, and confident. Definitely one of Elise’s types. I watched with a smile as she leaned into the steady stream of his compliments.

That’s when he earned his nickname: Mr. Neon, because of how electrified Elise said he made her feel. The full electric touch would have to wait though since everyone was getting out to get ready for dinner.

We picked Aphrodite for our final dinner, which transforms into a fancy BBQ steakhouse at night. It gets a “fancy” title because all the tables get covered with linen tablecloths and the basic white plates are swapped out with elegant gold-rimmed ones. It was warm and inviting, but after spending most of the week in shorts and T-shirts at breakfast and lunch, it definitely felt differently. The menu had all the classic grilled standards: steak, chicken, and more. Portions here were small as well, but that was fine since no leftovers meant less food waste (especially with no doggy bags at a place like this).

That also meant less food for the coatis, the cute, raccoon-like animals that roamed the property. They weren’t shy. I’ve heard stories of them snatching food right from people’s hands and we had personally seen them making their rounds around the resort, crawling into garbage cans and some even climbing up onto the balconies, so yeah, keep your doors closed.

Midway through dinner, the Neons and another couple were seated to the table next to ours. Turns out this was their second attempt at having dinner. They’d left Suki, Pearl’s Japanese restaurant, earlier due to poor service, which I guess is extremely rare. We’d heard whispers about some staff issues, so we weren’t that surprised. Our own visit hadn’t been stellar either. We didn’t get a chance to talk much since our meals had arrived and they were famished, but we agreed to meet up later at the lobby bar. 

The Lingerie Theme Night: Matching Outfits and Tequila Bonds

After we finished dinner, we walked back to our room to get changed into our outfits for the night’s theme: Lingerie and Lace. Elise wore my favorite look of the trip, an incredible sheer green floral lace chemise with matching stockings. She looked stunning and definitely turned heads.  I wore a black see-through floral lace shirt that I wish I could wear in everyday life and a pair of almost see-through briefs that had a grid-like pattern.

Funny twist, Mr. Neon was wearing the exact same briefs, and a similar shirt. But sorry, not sorry, my shirt looked better. Take that. Sticks tongue out. 

The Neons offered us a shot from their private bottle of high-end tequila that was kept behind the bar. Who says no to that? I’m no tequila expert, but it didn’t burn, and we remembered everything after, so that’s a win.

The bar and lobby were packed. Bodies pressed close. The air just sizzled with sex.

Elise and Mr. Neon used the closeness as an excuse to make out a little, and to tease each other about what might happen later. Almost like a playful contract was being negotiated. I caught Richard watching again, this time with clear envy. He realized he’d missed his shot. We are grateful to have met Richard and his wife, but at this point in the trip, that ship had sailed.

Resort relationships burn hot and can fade even faster. You have to act, because you may not get a second chance.

Once again, it’s an interesting thing, watching your wife kiss another man. Especially as a newbie. Sure I knew that Elise was just having pure, adulterated fun, but do I watch? Look away? Smile and nod? I did a little bit of everything and I bet I looked spectacularly awkward AF. I’m sure at some point I flashed Elise a nervous grin to show her I was doing good. Meanwhile, my brain was spinning through all the different possible future scenarios they had been discussing. I felt like when Dr. Strange was using the Time Stone in Infinity War to search for the best outcome against Thanos. Sure it’s not a battle between good and evil, but were we actually ready to play with a third?

The pole-dancing show started, lights dimmed, and my brain finally got a break.

Final Dip in the Hot Tub, Final Surprise

After the show, when the disco music kicked in, we danced for a bit before heading to the hot tub one last time. That’s when Elise completely surprised me. She stripped down, totally nude, for the very first time. She wanted to be able to say she’d done it before the trip ended, and honestly, she was incredibly turned on. The Neons hadn’t arrived yet, and I could tell she was scanning each new face with growing disappointment. As it turned out, they’d been pulled aside by upper resort management to discuss what had happened at their dinner at Suki.

As we chatted with others in the hot tub, I could see Elise start to fade. Sure her smile was polite and she laughed at the right moments, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. Conversations about kids and the everyday just couldn’t hold her attention. She was still waiting for her Godot, hoping for one last spark before the trip ended. It was our final night, and I didn’t want her last memory to be one of disappointment and longing. I’m not usually the spontaneous type, but as I watched the heat in her eyes flicker beneath the surface, I knew I had to change the energy. 

So I did what needed to be done.

I took her hand and guided her to the edge of the sunning column, and gently lifted her partway out of the water. I draped her legs over my shoulders, lowered my mouth between them and went down on her, head underwater more times than I’d like to admit. If I was going to die at Desire Pearl, this was one hell of a way to go, but I wouldn’t do that to Elise. I bet transporting my body back stateside would be a nightmare. 

Pretty sure people were saying things about our public performance. Some were probably cheering, some were probably saying, you know they have beds for that, but all I could hear was the pressure of her thighs that were pressed tight around my ears. 

Did I die? No, thankfully, I survived. When I surfaced and came up for air, I realized that there was a third in the mix. Elise was kissing Greg, Tanya’s husband. I guess that was a fair exchange? for the earlier body shot. Elise told me later that Greg had asked permission first. Good man. 

We lingered in the hot tub for a while, wrapped up in each other’s arms, warm and weightless beneath the stars. Eventually, Elise was ready to call it a night. It was pretty late and morning would come at us fast since we’d be packing up to leave first thing.

Tacos, Tenderness, and is This the End?

As we wandered back to our room, we stumbled on a little food stand tucked behind the lobby, grilling up steak and chicken tacos. And oh my god… they were incredible. Juicy, smoky, straight-off-the-grill perfection. Discovering that taco stand on our last night felt like a delicious little secret we almost missed. What else have we missed in the few short days of our trip? 

We walked the final stretch hand-in-hand, stomachs full, hearts and minds insync, skin still tingling.

One last night. One last kiss under the moonlight.

That’s when it happened. A meteor ripped across the night sky, trailing an eerie, fiery glow and a deafening roar that shook the air. Not even a second later, the bus-sized chunk of space rock slammed into the earth with a blinding explosion.

And just like that—no one survived.

No, that’s not how the story really ended.

Come back for our last morning at the resort, our trip back home and my overall thoughts & impressions about Desire Pearl.