Hello there, wonderful readers! No, we haven’t disappeared or abandoned our blog. We’ve just been busy with normal vanilla life and, unfortunately, we haven’t had anything spicy to report. That might be changing soon, though, as we’re possibly planning a return trip to Desire, this time to the Riviera Maya location instead of Pearl.

You may have read Elise’s initial reaction to Pearl (the very first post on this blog), but I wanted to offer a full, honest review, our perspective, well slanted towards my thoughts as a relatively average, middle-aged couple who had never been naked in front of strangers before and were definitely nowhere near the lifestyle scene.

Let’s rewind to July 2024. We had a trip planned to Atlanta to drop our kid off at a summer program for a few weeks. That meant something rare. An extended, uninterrupted child-free time. The timing couldn’t have been better.

After an incredible anniversary trip on a Virgin Cruise (where we got a taste of the blissful, kid-free lifestyle), we were itching for another adults-only escape and this time maybe something even sexier and more adventurous. That’s when Elise made the bold decision to book us a four-night stay at Desire Pearl. Why? Just to shake things up and finally see what all the fuss was about.

So, we did. And with that decision came a deep dive into all the research. We examined everything from the resort itself to the lifestyle, airports, Cancun, theme nights, and more. We wanted to be as prepared as possible, so there wouldn’t be any surprises, just pure excitement.

Traveling: Atlanta to Cancun

Fast forward to the trip itself. After a 10-hour road trip and dropping the kid off, we went straight through Atlanta’s famously crazy rush hour traffic to our hotel that was located just outside the airport. We’d never been to this airport before, and since we were flying internationally, we needed to leave from the farther international terminal. We initially booked the hotel because it was connected to the airport train system, but after doing a dry run (because we had an early morning flight and didn’t want to navigate while half-asleep), we realized the train only took us to the domestic terminal. From there, we’d have to wait for a bus to the international terminal, with unpredictable wait times. That sounded like unnecessary stress at 5 a.m., so Elise checked Uber prices—just $15 for a direct ride. That was an easy decision. Screw the train and bus; Uber it was.

After grabbing dinner at a nearby hotel, we attempted to get some sleep, but the pillows were flatter than pancakes. Before bed, we had to do a strategic luggage swap—Since we originally set out on this trip as a family, we had one set of bags for everyday life and another for our resort wear, theme-night outfits, and, ahem, “fun” items. We stashed the main vanilla bag into our car for safe keeping. Since we were only staying four nights, we packed light and opted for carry-ons to avoid the notoriously slow Cancun baggage claim.

Morning came too soon. Running on minimal sleep, we dressed, met our Uber, and rode to the airport, grateful we weren’t dealing with the train-bus shuffle. Despite some pre-flight jitters (our first time dealing with flying internationally, plus horror stories about both Atlanta and Cancun airports), everything went smoothly. Security was easy, aside from me receiving conflicting instructions from two TSA agents. Elise, still in zombie mode from the early wake-up, followed my lead as we navigated the near-empty terminal. At 5:30 a.m., the only food option was Caribou Coffee, which had a long line but no competition. Caffeine and breakfast secured, we made our way to the gate.

The airline then announced they needed volunteers to check their carry-ons due to the flight being full. Apparently, everyone else had also read about Cancun’s slow baggage claim. We held onto our bags and thankfully were not forced to check them.

The flight was uneventful and we had officially arrived in Mexico. Well… almost. First, we had to clear immigration. 

Welcome to Mexico!

For those who haven’t flown internationally to Cancun, here’s how it works: You walk into a massive hall that appeared to be right out of the early 1990’s filled with roped stanchions, with the option to use electronic immigration kiosks or go through an agent. The kiosks seemed faster, but they weren’t moving, so we opted for a live person. Good call, plus we had our passports stamped. 

The immigration officer asked standard questions—where we were from, how long we were staying, why we were visiting. Then he asked which resort we were staying at. Elise, embarrassed, whispered, “Desire Pearl.” I, on the other hand, said it out loud like I was announcing our presence to the entire room. The officer cracked a small smile. Elise wanted to melt into the floor.

Customs was a breeze since we had nothing to declare, but a word of caution: at the time of our trip, Mexican customs had been conducting random searches and enforcing restrictions on the number of electronic devices travelers could bring. Some people we met at the resort were hit with unexpected fines simply for carrying both a Kindle and a tablet or a laptop and a Kindle, a device most wouldn’t typically consider “computers.” Fortunately, we weren’t stopped, but it’s definitely something to be aware of.

After passing through duty-free, we entered what’s known as “The Gauntlet”. It was a long hallway packed with aggressive timeshare salespeople, tour operators, and taxi drivers. From what I have read, few of them are official, so buyer beware. I threw on sunglasses, put on a blank stare, and added a few fake coughs for good measure. We emerged unscathed.

We had pre-arranged a shuttle with USA Transportation through Pearl. With the help of a competitor taxi operator, who was way nicer than he had to be, finding our correct stand was easy and within minutes, we were escorted to a private shuttle—just for the two of us. Nice. 

A quick note about the arranged transportation for first-timer’s if you book directly through the resort. You will not receive any transportation details until about two weeks before your trip and then you will receive an email directly from the taxi company. Do not lose this email voucher since you need to show it to the employee at the airport.

The 25-minute ride to the resort was eye-opening. The roads and infrastructure near the airport were in much rougher shape than expected, which was surprising given Cancun’s tourism-driven economy. Our driver mentioned how unreliable the power grid was, but he lived off-grid with solar panels, so he had it better than most.

We passed through the small town of Puerto Morelos (more on that in another post), and soon, we arrived at the gates of Desire Pearl.

Welcome to Paradise: First Impressions, Check-In, and the Timeshare Two-step.

A friendly staff member greeted us, took our carry-ons, and led us inside the open, airy lobby, which featured a sleek black-and-white décor, towering floor-to-ceiling windows, and polished marble floors that were so slick, I almost slipped several times. The resort had a sensual ambiance. It was tasteful and not overtly risqué by any means. We were immediately offered a tropical punch. Elise accepted one; I passed, considering it was only 10 a.m., which was a little too early for me.

Check-in was smooth, and we received wristbands coded by guest type. Ours was yellow, marking us as first-timers. Fresh meat.

Then we met him.

A well-built, tanned, ridiculously attractive, overly friendly staff member wearing a shirt at least two sizes too small. His job? Twofold. First, to go over the resort’s rules: No means no. No photos with guests in the background. Where you can be naked. Where you can’t. Where you can have sex. Where you can’t. You know, the usual rules you get at any resort or at Disney 😉 He also wanted to make sure Elise and I were here for the right reasons. Not trying to salvage a failing marriage or pretending not to know what kind of resort we’d booked. He seemed genuinely surprised when he learned that the whole trip had been Elise’s idea.

His second, and probably primary, job? Selling the timeshare—the Premier Membership. And I was ready for him.

He started by offering more drinks to lower our inhibitions. We declined. He dangled a “free” erotic massage if we attended a sales pitch. I told him we don’t like being touched by others. A romantic beach dinner? Too many gnats, plus a hurricane had just passed and who wants sand in their food? I knew he had a script for nearly every excuse, but having done hard sales myself, I was prepared by throwing out random, offbeat responses just to throw him off his game. I eventually told him flat-out that since this was our first time, we are not even considering any commitments. By the end of it, I imagine he typed into our resort file: Dude is very odd.

Defeated and speechless, he finally gave up. “I’ll check back with you later during your trip,” he said.

Victory.

With that, we were passed off to another staff member for a quick tour and to check if our room was ready. It wasn’t. Starving, we headed to breakfast.

Aphrodite, the breakfast and lunch buffet restaurant, which was light and airy and had an entire wall of nothing but windows that looked out to the ocean (at night it becomes a standard table service restaurant), was closing soon to prepare for lunch, but we made it just in time. Over ham-and-cheese omelets and coffee (not the best, but better than average), I noticed two employees meticulously checking food temperatures and documenting their findings in a notebook. Seeing that level of care reassured me that it was unlikely that we were going to get sick from any strange food-born illness.

After breakfast, our room was still not ready, so we stored our backpacks that had our passports, wallets, keys and other “valuables” in the spa lockers that had actual locks and explored the grounds. Despite the recent hurricane that had passed just offshore just a few days earlier, the resort looked fantastic.

Our Room, the Pool & Discovering the Hot Tub

Finally, our room was ready. And it was huge—a sitting area with two couches, a separate bedroom, two full bathrooms, and a giant tub. Elise immediately jumped in the shower to rid herself of the grime and funk from traveling… and there was no hot water.

A quick call to the front desk and they said they would have it fixed ASAP. Oh well. Time for drinks.

At the pool, we spotted a couple we recognized from a Facebook group. David and Lisa, not their real names, a Korean couple, were also first-timers. We agreed to meet for dinner at Pearl, the upscale restaurant.

We had only been at the pool for a few minutes when the wind picked up, and it got really chilly for July in Cancun, prompting the few remaining guests to clear out. At first, we had no idea where everyone disappeared to, but it turned out they were all heading to the hot tub, where it was much warmer. After a brief debate, we decided to follow suit and made our way to the resort’s famous, oversized hot tub which, fun fact, used to be a kid’s pool back in the day when the resort was family-friendly and under different ownership.

Up until now, the resort had felt almost too quiet, but this was where everyone had been “hiding.” The tub was filled with a mix of dressed and undressed couples, yet there was plenty of space even for those who valued personal space. Most of the women were topless, a few were fully nude, but the majority still wore their bikini bottoms. About half of the men had their swimsuits on, while the other half embraced full nakedness. We remained in full swimwear mode. After mingling for some time, we headed back to our room to relax before dinner.

Dinner and An Early Night

After freshening up (in yet another cold shower), unpacking and relaxing, we dressed for dinner. Elise in a tight blue mini dress, me in linen pants and a floral shirt. Before we knew it, it was time to meet back up with David and Lisa, but we managed to go on a side-quest by walking along the beach.

Dinner was fantastic, albeit with small portions. The restaurant’s decor was unique. Think black velvet, gold accents, and mannequin legs in stockings that were hung on the wall. Sexy? Debatable. Memorable? Absolutely.

David, Elise and I bonded over shared past experiences, while Lisa and I connected over K-pop. Having grown up in Korea, Lisa had only been living in the US for the past five to eight years. She seemed surprised that I knew more than just BTS—probably even more so, since I’m a white, 50-year-old Midwestern guy and my Spotify liked music list is filled with so many Korean music groups.

After dessert, we went our separate ways, with plans to meet up again for the Gods & Goddesses theme night… However, Elise and I had some much needed amazing sex back in our room and we promptly passed out at 9 p.m.

Was it FOMO-inducing? Maybe. But after 36 hours of travel exhaustion, a solid 10-hour sleep was exactly what we needed.

Our first impressions of Pearl

• The resort was more compact than expected
• The resort grounds were beautifully lush with plants and palm trees
• Warm and very friendly guests
• Great pool and a incredible hot tub
• Surprised at the constant upkeep with lots of work crews
• Spacious, comfortable rooms
• Great food (so far)
• And most importantly—we felt completely at ease and fully embraced vacation mode

Day One was a success. And we were just getting started. Stay tuned for Day Two!